Author Topic: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus  (Read 579 times)

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Offline Rand0

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The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« on: December 12, 2017, 03:45:17 AM »
+14
ASSAULT ON SHARIZ: THE COURT OF THE STOLEN FIEF

It is known to all that Marcus (AKA: Marcus the Free Tradin', Crusadin', Masturbatin', Single Member Clan Makin', Knightmare Felatin', Crusader) was pimped off to The Hounds of Cuck Lane during the last season of Strategus by Knightmare (Aliases: The Betrayer, The Lord of Lies, The Chronic Masturbator, Defiler of the Realm and King of the Manlets). After a short period of time, The Free-Tradin' enigma opted to leave the Cucks in order to activate his special ability: Creating a special snowflake clan just for him, built upon the foundations of the Doggers' stolen fiefs.
We at the Confederacy feel that the realm of NA has been peaceful and silent for too long - the time to strike is now, and what better target than the stolen capital of the Taint Parader himself?  He has become arrogant in these times of peace, which we know all too well create weak men. Rando (AKA: Sam Hyde, Ben Garrison, cr1tikal) leads the powerful bulls of the Calradian Confederacy's "Bell Curve" legion march towards the lands of the sand people, primed and ready to poz the neg hole of Shariz.

"The day of the rope soon approaches for the city in the sand," Rando proudly exclaims to his right-hand man Tristan, as his horse let loose a swarthy brap into his trusty ballsquire Cassander's face, who was marching behind it."Marcus the BLACKED Crusader threatens Dhirim. He will never see this coming." replied a confident Tristan. Meanwhile, the finest warrior of the Bell Curve Legion and son of Rando, the "thicc knight" Albus loads his fat rolls onto a wheelbarrow.


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« Last Edit: December 12, 2017, 04:45:59 AM by Rand0 »
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Offline Tristan_of_Erzoth

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2017, 03:49:06 AM »
+6
I unsheathe my sword and point it to the sky "FOR CASSAAAAANDEEEEERRRR!" I scream. Thousands, nay, millions of ELITE warriors pick up the cry. Together our swarm charges into the bleak black darkness of Shariz to cleanse and purify it.

Offline Albus

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2017, 03:54:07 AM »
+7
sry it took so long, the wheelbarrow kept breaking under the weight and we had to keep stopping to replace the wheels...

but we're here now!
"Nothing quite like the feeling of getting clotheslined by a six and a half foot longsword"-Brick_Cavity
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Offline Ufoinsky

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2017, 03:57:37 AM »
+6
To fill a gap they never knew they had
Ufoinsky: Why did you buy camelsinstead of gear?
Marcus_the_Crusader: i was trying to trade first, not fight
Ufoinsky: you are at war
Marcus_the_Crusader: well, i need to trade to buy more gear, lol
Ufoinsky: maybe if you bought gear instead of camels

Offline Tristan_of_Erzoth

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2017, 04:00:40 AM »
+2
http://c-rpg.net/index.php?page=strategusbattlesupcoming#!?page=strategusinfobattledetail&id=1964

The eviction notice has been posted. I'm calling the police if Marquese doesn't get out of his apartment by 6:09PST!

Offline elvandin

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2017, 04:16:21 AM »
+3
Best of luck to you lads. Do try to keep it at a humane level if possible though

Offline Rand0

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2017, 05:20:29 AM »
+2
Best of luck to you lads. Do try to keep it at a humane level if possible though

Wow. Get a load of this absolute sweetheart right here. Powerful
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Offline _uwu_

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2017, 05:32:32 AM »
+3
there sint much that marcus can do
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Offline Drunken_sailor

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2017, 05:41:24 AM »
+1
as a representative of peace I have to sign for the side of Jeru because we all know they are peaceful.
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut
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Online njames89

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2017, 01:24:56 PM »
+1
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Offline BlackPanda

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2017, 05:29:53 PM »
+3
about time we stop marcus the grand spanking billy macking crusader

Offline Tristan_of_Erzoth

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2017, 10:52:42 PM »
+4
Marcus is behind on his rent so we are repossessing his village. Come help us evict his 500 cousins


 http://c-rpg.net/?page=strategusbattlesupcoming#!?page=strategusinfobattledetail&id=1968

Offline Tristan_of_Erzoth

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2017, 09:42:55 PM »
+4
We didn't have ladders because Albus used them all as spare wood to fix his wheelbarrow

Offline Tristan_of_Erzoth

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2017, 01:50:30 AM »
+3
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Offline Kadeth

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Re: The Shitpost That Saved Strategus
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2017, 03:56:26 AM »
+1
hey boys do a strat battle at a time that suits ME  :D
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