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General Off Topic / Re: Most Work Is Pointless In 2017
« Last post by Drunken_sailor on Today at 05:48:50 PM »
So as a Communist/Marxist whatever u are, do you support universal basic income and robots doing all the work so that people don't have to?
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General Off Topic / Re: Am I racist? 2.0
« Last post by Leshma on Today at 05:38:54 PM »
I'm just waiting for the moment race war is lost and Oberyn change sides, using his darker than average skin color to blend in among muslim hordes.
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Game Admin Feedback / Re: [AUSTRALIA] Kadeth
« Last post by Jona on Today at 05:29:45 PM »
the best chance you've got is to grab hold of both front legs and spread as hard as you can- if you are lucky you might separate their sternum and be able to escape

...what? I'm guessing they've got some genetic deformity that gives them a weak sternum or something?

Anyways, story time: An old friend of my dad's worked as a mailman (worked in a city where he walked door to door, didn't drive from mailbox to mailbox), and rather stereotypically, two dogs attacked him one day (this was back before leash laws existed). Now, this dude was absolutely ripped and when the first dog jumped at him he grabbed it by the jaws and king konged the mofuckah.

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After the first one dropped dead, the second dog ran away. The end.

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General Off Topic / Re: Am I racist? 2.0
« Last post by HESKEYTIME on Today at 05:19:24 PM »
CHALMERS: Well, Seymour, I made it... despite your directions.
SKINNER: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
CHALMERS: Uhh...
SKINNER: [gasp] Oh egads, my roast is ruined! But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? [to himself] Oh ho ho ho ho... delightfully devilish, Seymour!
CHALMERS: Uh-
[cue song]
Skinner with his crazy explanations,
The superintendent's gonna need his medication,
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
[end of song]

CHALMERS: Seymour!
SKINNER: Superintendent, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
CHALMERS: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
SKINNER: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm... steamed clams! [beat] Ooh...
[a few moments later]
SKINNER: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!
CHALMERS: I thought we were having steamed clams.
SKINNER: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
CHALMERS: You call hamburgers "steamed hams?"
SKINNER: Yes. It's a regional dialect!
CHALMERS: Uh-huh... uh, what region?
SKINNER: Uhh... upstate New York?
CHALMERS: Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."
SKINNER: Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
CHALMERS: I see. [beat] You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
SKINNER: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
CHALMERS: For steamed hams?
SKINNER: Yes.
CHALMERS: Yeah, so you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
SKINNER: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second.
CHALMERS: Of course.
SKINNER: [YAWN] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
CHALMERS: Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!?
SKINNER: Aurora borealis?
CHALMERS: Uh- aurora borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen!?
SKINNER: Yes!
CHALMERS: May I see it?
SKINNER: No.
SKINNER'S MOTHER: Seymour, the house is on fire!
SKINNER: No, mother—it's just the northern lights!
CHALMERS: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.
SKINNER'S MOTHER: Help! Help!
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General Off Topic / Re: Am I racist? 2.0
« Last post by Golem on Today at 05:16:24 PM »
Imagine

*light drums*

Oberyn

*cue flute solo*

had a daughter

*drumming increases in intensity*

that married

*cymbal drop echo*

no wait that doesn't make sense
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Unban Essays / Re: Havelle's Unban Essay
« Last post by Jona on Today at 05:08:43 PM »
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Unban Essays / Re: Havelle's Unban Essay
« Last post by Jaren on Today at 05:08:15 PM »
Very nice, would read again 5/7.

Mr. Dupre, free this man!
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Unban Essays / Re: Havelle's Unban Essay
« Last post by Bronto on Today at 04:56:42 PM »
Nice work Havelle. I can only approve and support getting you back into the mod. I've never had any beef with you and am glad you realized that going down the path you were was not the right one. I'll message Dupre today if he hasn't contacted you already and see what we can do.
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General Off Topic / Re: Am I racist? 2.0
« Last post by HESKEYTIME on Today at 04:39:42 PM »
Guys guys guys,

Oberyn managed to make inflammatory statements about my country online, everything I and everyone else said previously in this thread about his personal french-culture hating defeatism is therefore void.
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General Off Topic / Re: Am I racist? 2.0
« Last post by njames89 on Today at 04:14:33 PM »
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