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Topics - Yeldur

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General Discussion / a guide on how to make the perfect cup of tea
« on: June 09, 2018, 01:59:19 AM »
Hello everyone, Head Admin Yeldur here, and today I'm here to show you how to make the perfect cup of tea. "Why is this fucking bubbling frothing at the mouth retard idiot cunt trying to tell us how to make tea" you might be asking, well, I have one simple reason. I am British, and by that logical definition that means I am a tea MASTER and you are all FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT FUCK YOU ALL I HATE YOU.
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In order to watch this guide please listen to this music on repeat:

Anyways. On to the guide:

First, pour water into kettle, now, we can't use any old ordinary tap water, for a TRUE ENGLISH TEA, we must go all the way to the lake district and collect nothing but the purest rain water, once that is done, we travel back home and put the kettle on boil, once that is done we empty it into a pot on the stove and leave it to boil for a further 30 minutes, once that has finished, add ENGLISH teabag into cup, pour boiling water and leave for 2-5 minutes depending on how strong you like your tea. Once that has been completed, remove your ENGLISH teabag and place it in the food bin, then drive 4 hours down the road to cornwall, milk a cow, drive 4 hours back down the road to your home and add exactly 10 millilitres of milk, once done, add sugar if you take it. A maximum amount of two spoons of sugar is allowed, any more than that and you are ruining the tea and I will personally come to your house, castrate you, cauterise the wound, cut off each and every limb of your body whilst cauterising it, making sure you are well fed and have drunk fluids, after which i will place you slowly, 1 inch every 5 minutes into an acid pit, where you will boil to death slowly and painfully. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU PIECES OF SHIT I WILL FUCKING END YOU
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Please now pause Rule Britannia and turn on this song:
Thank you must humbly for reading my guide on how to make the perfect cup of tea, I hope this has helped you in your endeavour to make a good cup of tea, I appreciate for you non British barbarian SWINES it can be a difficulty but this is why I have made this guide, if you have any questions about your tea, please feel free to contact me using this thread.
This is Head Admin Yeldur, signing off. Goodnight.

A terrible day has come today, King Phillippe has been murdered, he was merely talking on the C-RPG server when he hopped into the voice chat and began talking into his microphone to the people, unbeknownst to him, having the microphone in your mouth makes it really loud and impossible for people to understand, as such, he cannot be blamed for this but that didn't matter, Uthyr the murderer of King Philip struck Phillippe down with the power he stole from the vaults of Camelot before escaping after murdering Philip previously. It is a terrible day.

Rest in peace, King Phillippe, 1452 - 2020

Pictures taken from an onlooker at the moment of King Phillippe's death
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After the brutal murder of his father at the hands of the attempted usurpers to the throne, Dupre and Uthyr, Phillippe is crowned King after bravely routing them from his fathers lands, this video was taken just days after his father was murdered, and allowed King Phillippe time to mourn his loss.
(very special thanks to pogosan for helping me with bits on the video)

General Discussion / never forget the sacrifice of King Philip
« on: May 13, 2018, 10:23:37 PM »
the king has died today after a VICIOUS attack by dupre and uthyr who brutalised me before finally cutting off my head and (edit: permabanning) banning me from the crpg discord

here lies King Philip - 1270 - 1305 AD
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"I am skilled in the arts of war, and military tactics" - King Philip, 1299 AD

Never forget his noble sacrifice

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General Discussion / EUcucks, the looming issue
« on: May 07, 2018, 08:12:58 PM »
For months now EU has been dead, nobody plays anymore and even when I spammed the shit out of announcements on the steam group and on the discord and even appealed to the DTV players, nobody came on EU1 except for James, which makes him the only non-cunt in EU. Oh wait he's NA, jk you're all cunts.

Right now, there is no point at all in keeping EU servers up, it's wasted money that the donators to this module (To which I am one) are wasting on servers that nobody plays on. In my opinion, the only logical decision from this point is to remove all EU servers and use the revenue made from that to buy new weapons and armour from Zimke, or anyone else who wants to take payment in exchange for weapons/armour. EU has proven they're all a bunch of useless bundle of stickss who can't be bothered to get on and start up the server so there's not much point in keeping the servers up, I say we focus on a set of servers that IS alive, NA. I see them getting 40-60 people almost every night which is awesome, and that's what EU should be.

Included a poll for us to vote on, it won't change my opinion but I'd be surprised if anyone votes not to shut down EU, given that it's dead.

Spam / Memorial for Avenge
« on: April 17, 2018, 01:31:31 AM »
We gather here today to mourn the passing of one "Avenge" - His life was long, but ended way too soon. After the posting of nudes of Cassi, he was summarily executed for his crimes, and now exists only in the aether above, may his soul be carried forever into the halls of happiness, may his corpse rot nicely so that it doesnt look too bad or smell too bad, may his life above be forever full of life and joy.

We will never forget your passing Avenge.

R.I.P Avenge, 2011 - 2018
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"NO update , lied the epic , balance ?" - Unidentified Peasant as he visited Avenge's funeral to steal his shoes

Spam / unban thread on behalf of avenge
« on: April 17, 2018, 12:57:01 AM »
I am here on behalf of Avenge to submit an unban thread for him, he has requested me to do this and so I have chosen to do so with consent on his part. He has given me a speech that he has spent time writing for us:

Much like albert einstein, I did nothing wrong, and I am here to spread the knowledge of the injustice I faced recently. Recently I posted nude photographs of one player in C-RPG called "Cassi" - this person has been shared numerous times on the Krems WhatsApp group and after an argument with Cassi about how i need to stop being racist even though Cassi is a cuck I chose to post this photographs in a fit of anger and rage, not knowing that this would get me globally banned, I expected a forum perma ban and am unhappy that I was globally banned without even being spoken to, hence I would like to request a hearing of some kind in which I am allowed to defend myself, I don't believe that posting some pictures online even though they are readily available online is wrong, I didn't even know they were Cassi's nudes, so that means you can't ban me, because I had no knowledge of the crime I had committed. Nah I'm just joking, but in all seriousness I believe I need to be unbanned as this community is already dying/dead. Would you kill einstein if it meant the SS would die? Would you kill him if it meant chocolate chip cookie Germany fell? No. I don't think so.

Yours sincerely, Avenge

the kingdom of retardation requires your assistance, one day, as yeldur was walking down the street, he was approached by some german cuck who said "gimme ur lunch money bitch" - yeldur, turned around and proudly said "NO FK U" so the cuck replied "FINE BUT THIS ISNT THAT LAST OF THIS" - so he gathered his army of cucks and chose to attack my village, 1 like = 1 prayer, plz support me in killing the german cucks who are trying to steal one of my babies

plz send ur help, fite for what is rite!?page=strategusinfobattledetail&id=2882

EU (Official) / Report against T_Yakety_Sax_savesiege
« on: March 02, 2018, 01:59:23 AM »
1. Name of your character involved edgy_bundle of sticks (remove the _ between "f" and "a")
2. Name of offending character(s) T_Yakety_Sax_savesiege
3. Time and server, as accurately as possible 12:45 AM GMT +0
4. Written description of what happened, the whole story. Also what happened before and after. We were playing a few rounds and I was testing a new build of mine out, I'd beaten Yakety in combat a few times and they'd beaten me I think once, after I beat him/her another time they doublespawned, I tried to submit a ban poll but nobody accepted so I'm moving to the forums. I did namecall him in chat because what he's doing is being a prick and he deserved to be insulted. I believe he did it again on the next map before dying again and GTXting the server.
5. Why you think the offender did what he did.* I'm assuming the person must have gotten mad so he doublespawned out of rage, he seemed to do the same on the next map as well and then died again so GTX. Obviously rage doesn't justify them ruining the server and stealing XP away from people who could have received it. He then also tried to ban me (presumably out of rage as well) which was shut down as well. If the person had simply stopped doing it and moved on but their banpoll on me shows that they're just an idiot and perhaps they need an admin to deal with it instead.
6. Multiple Screenshots
7. Names of players who witnessed what happened.** Bjord, Salad_Fork, Tennu, DakeyrasWaylander,

General Discussion / Brainstorming anti-ranged builds
« on: February 12, 2018, 12:01:15 AM »
Ok guys, I expect I'm as tired of the ranged cancer as much as everyone else, and I want to do as much as I can to deal with these annoying overpowered fuckers as possible.

I want to brainstorm some builds specifically designed to counter archers and xbows. If anyone has ideas feel free to share them. I have two (One of which was given to me)

12/27 shield thrower, you can use throwing axes or daggers, but the objective is to go behind enemy ranged and just constantly harrass them as much as you can.
3/33 shield daggerer, pretty simple, you use a shield and a dagger to sneak up on ranged and spam them to death before they can deal with you, build would work fantastic with the round table imo

That's all I can think of in terms of builds at the moment, I'm looking for ANYTHING that would work at countering ranged (With exception of xbow or archer builds, the objective here is to actively try to counter the ranged cunts, not add to their numbers)

Sell/Trade / yeldurs den of autism
« on: January 11, 2018, 11:09:16 PM »
yes helo i am sell:

1x Lordly Red Brigandine over Mail
1x Lordly Sallet with Visor and coif
1x Masterpiece Knightly Kite Shield
1x Masterwork Ashwood Pike - sold
1x Mighty Great Long Bardiche


General Discussion / THE RANGED EXPERIENCE
« on: January 03, 2018, 06:20:48 PM »
well HOWDY there folks, it's me, your good old friend LADODdaeodododa and i'm making this thread to share my experience with my NEW experimental character, "archersaregay"

i'm doing this to conduct an experiment about whether archers need buffing or nerfing or if they need to sit where they are currently.


Because I can't be fucked to make a new character and level it up, nor will I respec my main accounts into an archer, I've decided to create a STF for the purpose of this experiment, so I also walk in knowing that I'm using LESS powerful builds than most other archers.

Weapon Master: 4
Athletics: 4
Iron Flesh: 0
Power Strike: 6
Power Draw: 9

Weapon points: 1
One Handed: 35
Archery: 110


+3 Nordic Conical Helmet
+3 Padded Leather
+0 Leather Gloves
+0 Wrapping boots
+3 Rus Bow Now a +3 Horn Bow, to switch things up a little
+3 Tatar Arrows Apparently shit so they are scrapped, am now using +0 Bodkins Now using +3 Bodkins thanks to Algarn! +0 Bodkins
+3 One Handed Axe

The first game I played was actually rather easy, considering I've never really played archer before, I ended the game near the top of the scoreboard with a K/D of 4/5.
The sad thing was that I was enjoying myself even though I don't usually enjoy archer. (but don't worry i will never join the accursed)
So far I've got not qualms at all with archer, I don't notice anything underpowered with them, I was able to land hits on people quite easily. The main thing that was killing me was either xbows or my own team getting in my way causing me to fail at blocks (Fighting blackbow with about 4-5 of my own cav riding around bumping me and him makes combat a bit fucking annoying)

This experiment is far from over, as I plan to make this a fairly long term experiment, but, so far, I have found nothing wrong with the archer class.

The second game I played was a lot more misfortunate, I ended near the bottom with a K/D of 1-5, I felt like I was playing like shit so it was probably the case, I was missing shots and failing blocks when I did engage in melee. Archery didn't feel weak, it just more felt like I was holding it back because of me playing badly. Nothing really interesting happened other than me headshotting Tybalt 3 times without him dying with him standing directly in front of me. That did make archery feel very weak, though I've already embraced the fact I'm playing a weaker build than most archers so perhaps that's why. Either way one more arrow would likely have killed him.

*Archers have received a buff allowing them to carry much more powerful weapons on them from this point onwards*

This section is going to be rather short as I didn't play for long, but the one thing I've noticed is that archers are lot more powerful after this buff, and a lot more people are playing archer, it actually killed off EU1 today, had people leaving left right and center because there were so many archers online, I eventually decided to leave because I didn't want to be the cause of such a loss of want to play the game. I did terribly as I was getting ruined by the enemy teams archers who were blatantly 50 times more experienced than I am, and now that they can carry proper melee weapons it was even more impossible to take them down, I tried taking them down with a shielder and got utterly destroyed. The buff to archery was 100% unnecessary and I fully oppose it. Hoping that it will be reversed. If archery needs a buff, that most definitely was NOT it.

Was playing a LOT better this game, played one full game and ended 10-4, archers feel a lot more powerful now, especially as you can now stomp on people even more in melee, I was playing a lot less shit this time round and we were on a pretty good map for archers whereas in some of my bad games we were playing on bad maps for archers or maps I'm not used to. Definitely do not feel weak with Bodkins lol, I feel like a powerhouse, I don't think I've ever had such a good K/D before in C-RPG in all honesty, I'm not good enough to do that in melee as I'm just not very good. It feels good but also feels cancerous at the same time. All in all, archer still feels a bit too powerful on the melee aspect, hopefully in the next patch this is reversed.

Played for a small bit on the server, got a bunch of kills on the first round due to some bug players kept on falling into lol, battled two people in melee and bested them, had a lot of fun as archer if i'm honest.
One thing I have noticed is that my K/D on all my characters is always higher on deaths, with the exception of my archer, who is currently 21/21 in kills and deaths. All the rest of my builds have much higher deaths. Whether this trend will continue will be interesting to see, either way I do feel like I'm improving at archer and getting better at figuring out where I need to aim to hit people at certain distances.

I'm becoming a lot more accurate now and am landing shots even from far away quite easily, getting a few kills in here and there as well, doing the best job I can supporting my team. What I've found is actually quite fun to do is simply to follow your team around and just fire close range shots, obviously you have to be aware of your surroundings, but it does help to land shots. One thing that isn't specifically down to archers was that on 3 bars at 27/12 someone nudged me and instakilled me, which I found incredibly confusing since I was also wearing a helmet. Not sure how a person can be so high damage that they can instakill with nudges when i still have almost 25% of my health left lmao.

Note: One thing I've noticed is how easy it is to headshot people, was playing earlier (not as an archer) and there was nothing but non stop headshots from all archers on the server, one thing is very clear and that is that accuracy 100% needs nerfing.

Note: From this point onwards I no longer am in posession of +3 bodkins so I am using +0 instead (Big thanks to Algarn once again for letting me use them temporarily)
Oh and I'm using a +3 Horn Bow now.

Started out pretty well, managed to headshot someone and even with +0 bodkins I instakilled them and they'd taken no prior damage! Did quite well during the next game, everyone seems to be using the smaller bows now, and I think I'm performing better using them, I don't know why that is, but I am. Melee combat is as easy as ever due to the whole 1 slot weapon thing. Being able to use the Grosses Messer is fantastic. One thing I have found is that actually zooming in hurts my accuracy as opposed to making it better, I don't know why that is. Sat around the middle of the scoreboard this game. Archer still feels to be a strong class with a very good killing ability, there's not really much else for me to talk about until archery has balance changes so I think for now that will be the end of my experiment until something changes. I'll still be playing archer but I won't be uploading posts here as there's not really a lot left to talk about other than how well I did, which isn't really the point of this experiment.

Coming when archer is next changed

Special thanks:
Algarn for helping me during my hour of need and lending me his +3 Bodkins


at the top of my lungs but thne the RACIST BIGOT ADMIn JAM man banned me from the cprg discord, i demand that the HIGH LORD dev PROFESUR looks into this GRAVE ABUSE OF POIWER and strikes down a HARSH punishment onto jam man (suitable punishments include poking him in the eye, crucifiction, retaking jerusalem, killing all the jews or attacking a child with a tomato)

thanks for ur time profesur i hope that JUSTICe is done to AVENEG me.

General Discussion / never forget my sacrifice
« on: September 14, 2017, 08:27:35 PM »
on 14/09/2017 the mighty ladoyo, stood up to the oppression of uther the bundle of DICKS, who sought to block him from speaking, after speaking up, he received a vile beating from james the LOSER who blocked him from speaking in global, but without realising it, failed to stop ladoyo from talking in every other channel, ladoyo, realising this failure spoke up even louder in off topic, letting the good people of c-rpg know that he was being oppressed by the evil SCUM my old friendmins, but then, lightning thundered in the sky, and ladoyo was struck down. in one single swing the my old friendmins used their power to murder the fighter of the good fight, ladoyoyo and he was struck down, now ladoyoyoyo was banned from the c-rpg discord

never forget my sacrifice

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General Off Topic / help
« on: May 11, 2017, 09:32:06 PM »
send help plz
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