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Topics - bensai

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General Discussion / unmute an innocent victim
« on: June 22, 2018, 03:07:02 AM »
unmute sugar plz he was muted for "racism" but i went through his last few posts and its only runinthemill shitposts

Suggestions Corner / change experience requirements from levels 1-30
« on: June 16, 2018, 01:25:29 AM »
so the tl,dr is: i think lowering the experience requirements to reach level 30 will not only get players more interested in spending more time playing, but also maybe encourage players that dont want 2 play because they feel overwhelmed by high level nerds to give it another shot. but lets be real lets stop using the word "players". everyone that actively plays the mod will probably read this anyway (which is like 30 people).

i main a 1h/swashbuckler and the majority of my time goes into playing that character. when i get bored i may go play on an alt that im trying to build for lvl 30/31 but it's just unenjoyable to level with a low server population because it demands more individual performance with fewer players on a team, which means playing on my level 25 polearm or lvl 26 2h i will be mostly 1v1-ing and 2v1-ing higher level people. i get bored because i'm not really feeling like going back on my main (i just got off my main to get some fresh air right?) so i just close my game. yes, i could make a skip the fun, but it feels much less rewarding getting kills and carrying an x5 on a stf because you're not building to anything.

like i said, server pop is low, which makes being a low level more difficult than before, but strat is also pretty slow. if this were the prime days of strat with several 3mil xp field battles a day, it wouldn't be a problem, but poor merc situations and infrequent battles means strat isn't a good means of getting to lvl 31 either.

maybe if it were easier to level up to reach a solid build for melee, or cav, or even archer, people would have more fun playing alts and trying different classes. maybe this will solve the ranged problem, maybe it will make it worse

i just want to build some more high level alts like i used to so im not stuck respeccing my main when i get bored, or playing on shitty STFs.

i would suggest lowering the xp requirements to reach level 30 to a few million TOPS or increasing the experience earned by sub-lvl31 characters (although im sure implementing the latter suggestion would be hard)


i, der kekifuhrer assington, do request taht our greatest warrior, untersturmfuhrer (now promoted to oberststurmfuhrer) otto heinrich chestergang von otabben,
bearer of the knights cross of the iron cross with oak leaves and swords, be given a most magnificent
 and honorable title in recognition of his legendary, fearless, and most homoerotic performance on the field of battle in full view of a numerically greater enemy force.
von otabens tiger tank burnt out over 100 cuckculainn t-34s, and hoisted in over 1000 points in less than two hours of combat.
his title must be grand, it must be worthy of his empyrean character, and most importantly it must not expire in 30 days.

consider this request a personal one,


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Diplomacy / National Socialist Keki Workers Party (Nakis)
« on: May 21, 2018, 11:55:06 PM »

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After a bold attack by the communist retads to the east, hOuNdS oF cUckEdchUlAinN, Chancellor Assington has decided it is time to demonstrate what the forces of Kekistan have been preparing for since the last Great Strat War. For those who were fortunate enough to have been born after the conclusion of such a horrendous conflict, or simply for those with their heads in the sand who pay no attention to world events, during the last Great Strat War, the Keki Gobblins were convicted of heinous warcrimes, such as a multiaccounting, upon their "defeat", and the allied Forces of the Administration and the faltering Forces of Gaycre put massive war reparations at the feet of Kekistan. Since then, every Keki man, woman, and child has been indoctrinated with the knowledge that Kekistani people and the Keki culture is superior to all others. In order to spread our superior way of life, we need Lebenkekisraum (Keki "Living Space") so our children can have many, many more children of their own. The Slavichulainnic peoples to the east, under the rule of Joseph Bonestalinsaw and his HoC party, are truly an inferior breed. Raped by Mongols and living off of scum in the gutters, the HoC needs to been purified, and their lands made into free real estate for the Kekis.

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General Discussion / NA1 is down
« on: April 07, 2018, 12:30:07 AM »
plz fix forp

« on: January 29, 2018, 12:43:18 AM »






THEN SIGN UP RIGHT HERE FOR ASSINGTON'S HOST, SOLDIER!?page=strategusinfobattledetail&id=2460

Suggestions Corner / Please Retexture This Armor's Chainmail FFS
« on: January 28, 2018, 06:10:10 AM »
Hi so I recall looming this armor a long long time ago and it has been collecting dust in the frisian armory ever since:

heraldic surcoat over mail and plate
(click to show/hide)

here is the lighter alternative
heraldic surcoat over mail
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ok so I think that the mail on this armor is not only in VERY POOR RESOLUTION (notice the lower skirt part of the surcoat seen in the image above; between the legs) but also that the color of the mail matches very few items, if any.

here are some side by side comparisons with a couple other armors:
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The heraldic cloth texture on this armor is TOLERABLE but the chainmail is SO UGLY.

PLEASE CHANGE IT!!!! or give me a loom exchange because i dont remember ever looming something this ugly!!!

General Discussion / the power of an idea
« on: January 16, 2018, 08:15:29 AM »

NA (Official) / ban ser arn of acre
« on: January 10, 2018, 05:29:10 AM »
1. Name of your character involved: assington_the_cuninglinguist

2. Name of offending character(s): ser_arn_of_acre or some gay rp shit

3. Time and server, as accurately as possible: tuesday evening the 9th

4. Written description of what happened, the whole story. Also what happened before and after. : well this guy was being a real loudmouth in the server a couple days ago and ever since then sugarbiggums and i have been using our cunninglingus 2 put this kid in his place since he's really not funny and we are really witty so he clearly doesn't like us. he keeps challening me 2 1v1's even though he couldn't touch me if his life literally depended on it, or the wife of his mommy and daddy and sister and pet dog either.

ANYWAY, this evening (tuesday) he has been consistently hitting me in groupfights and shooting me at spawn with his xbow. in the groupfights i know it wasn't an accident as he was literally behind me spamming me, hitting me several times perpetually, later he shot me in the head with an xbow

5. Why you think the offender did what he did: some people arent born with the natural gifts of others and have to take it out somehow am i right?

6. Multiple Screenshots
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7. Names of players that can witness what happened.
all of NA thats been playing lately can vouch for this man's belligerence and bad jokes

Faction Halls / Assington's Host
« on: January 03, 2018, 09:00:56 AM »
Assington's Host:
Warriors of the Prophet

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assington always pondered his purpose in calradia, but it wasnt until his hand of cards was looking really shitty that he heard the howling of the wind mysteriously turn to words, holy words that said:

"WoWoWOooWOoowoWOOoo aaaaaaassingtooooooon despite being baaaaanned for many daaaays you must go join the baaaaattle seeeerverrrrrr"

though being both cynical and skeptical of supernatural occurrences, assington proceeded to NA1, despite knowing that he still had nearly 48 hours left until the chain of mortal serial key banning systems released him from its grip. upon entering the battle server, assington waited for the ruthless line to say "u r banned from this server idiot" to pop up and then kick him, but that never happened. assington was free. something had chosen him to be able to slip the tight grip of a ban (im not a ban evader james forgave me + great rp right).

for the next 6 years assington sought re connection with the divine entity that chose to bestow upon him the powers of righteousness, the ability to stand against the most potent forces of the cRPG aDmiNiStrAtiOn woooWOWoowoWOoOowooo. at first assington believed his purpose in calradia was to incite civil disobedience and to murder all snakes and forms of authority that ruled this land, but now.... now he is not so sure.

Assington's Host is an army comprised of humble, non-megalomaniacal people who seek holy retribution, the revelations of pilgrimage, and to understand the mysteries of calradia and crpg as we know it. a holy crusade is to be enacted in the sarranid deserts of New Calradia, and several holy sights are to be seized by assingtons host for further religious understanding of himself, those around him,
 and the reasons as to why he was bestowed such magical powers....

Intended Holy Sites to be Occupied by Assington's Host:

New Jameyyed Castle

(click to show/hide)
New Jameyyed Castle was the former seat of power of an ancient order of cRPG anarchists known as the GOBBLINS. its infinite catacombs, which are filled with holy relics and scriptures, is a key location to seize in order to understand the mysticism of the unknown divine entity. the treacherous heretic pollux will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity

New Samarra Castle
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Samarra used to be the center of a network of pilgrim roads, with nearly every pilgrim road across new calradia leading directly to it. not a living soul knows what sacred, holy institutions were housed there,
 nor why, but some of the oldest, wisest, and generally disgusting geriatric folk of samarra claim that the caverns under the ancient graveyards hold a pool of water so blue, and so sweet that it could have been milked from the breasts of aphrodite herself. it is said that once every 1000 years (6 months in crpg) someone is chosen to drink from this pool and be sent on a wild fucking trip i mean sent into a trance that will connect them more deeply with the gods and even be allowed to rest upon the breasts of aphrodite. New Samarra Castle must be seized, and the treacherous archibot will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity.

New Ahmerrad
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once the capital of an ancient desert empire, an empire that was far more evolved and advanced than the shitlords that inhabit it today, new ahmerrad's lower levels are host to a magnificent gold and jeweled statue of an unknown person or deity. it is whispered among the ancients of ahmerrad (much like the geriatric fucks of samarra) that a chosen individual, one with enough faith and autism, will be granted a set of gold and jeweled armor. when worn this armor will enable to wearer to battle indefinitely, unhindered by mortality, hunger, thirst, sexual lust, or fatigue, or venereal diseases, and the helm is said to have some sick jbl headphones that allow the bearer to communicate with an ancient, divine entity. New Ahmerrad must be seized, and the treacherous archibot will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity TWICE.

Nova Sharwa Castle
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once the cradle of power for all civilization in new calradia, sharwa has become little more than a military stronghold for whatever gaylord holds it except assington if assington holds sharwa he ISNT a gaylord.
 whomever sits upon the throne of sharwa, should they be true of heart and brimming with courage, will be given the omniscience to understand the will of the divine, and find the true path to paradise.
 seeing as sharwa is held by the incompetent, and slightly dimwitted sparvico, who is said to suffer from leprosy for his many sins, assington sees this as the final journey on the holy pilgrimage. plus he will be able 2 test out his sick new armor and jbl beats and have his stomach FULL of HOT aphrodite titty milk. Nova Sharwa Castle must be seized, and the treacherous sparvico will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity.

New Ismirala Village
(click to show/hide)
being the ancestral home of the frisian insurrection, along with the era of great peace and prosperity following frisian victories, new ismirala is the final resting place of GOBBLINKINGGREATLEADER's human body, before CHOAS turned him into a monster. a sight of great darkness indeed; however, immense wisdom is kept within the scrolls of the ancient frisians, wisdom which must be obtained for a more pure, homosexual, and prosperously holy life. New Ismirala must be seized, and the treacherous Johannes_VonThalion will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity.

the answers to these mysteries will be unraveled and shared with those who are true of heart once the mentioned locations are occupied. if u are a warrior of virtue and a scholar of mysticism then you are dutybound 2 fight by MY fucking side until i get some god damned castles so i can have a really long title when i enter battle server.

and a message to the owners of these holy sites: surrender now or get fucked

NA (Official) / my retort volume 2
« on: December 31, 2017, 10:20:51 PM »
significant megalomania, lack of empathy, ad hominems, victim blaming, deriding a "progressive movement" in america to stop people saying friend and bundle of sticks as ignorant, proudly talking about freedom of speech and business master's yet not realizing he is playing on a private server with a specific code of conduct he is violating, making the argument that going to a burger king and yelling MAKE A DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKING WHOPPER YOU LAZY friend bundle of sticks to get better than expected lunch would be patriotic, undertones of legitimate misogyny, homophobia, and racism in every sentence

a+ would unban for entertaining essay, but as a mission statement on the life and times of spookisland and a personal philosophy it is hilariously awful

im more progressive than u could ever imagine. you think that because i possess an infinitely large vocabulary yet i often elect to use pejorative terms for entertainment purposes among my private convocation, despite all members of said convocation being divorced from all potentially insulted groups, that i am thereby a racist, homophobe, misogynistic chauvinist contrary to me having kissed over a dozen boys in my life, dated TWO astonishingly beautiful black american women who called ME the N word (thereby allowing me to say it), and even been called the most stereotype-breaking (having broken BAD stereotypes) american ever to have been encountered by the denizens of the dozens of non american countries i have traveled to in my life???? you like that huh??

if u EVER want back into my teamspeak 2 enjoy the fun filled company of me and sugar along with the heated debates that end up with u SCREAMING at me because of my infallible logic then i expect an apology for ur fucking actions little man. u think i havent seen u double spawn before?? huh??? u think i dont remember all those times a couple weeks ago where u kept tking sugar at spawn because he was putting the battalion flag in ur face during melee??? just because u cozy up to the hierarchy doesnt mean u are safe from me u SNAKE

I'm sorry assington but this is the third ban this week, and at a time when myself and the other admins have never been more lenient with rule breaking. There is a point however when the line is crossed. You need a break. Go out to eat, read a book, talk a walk, whatever. We are actually very likely this time to still be here when your 3 days are up.

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youre not sorry. nothing gives u more satisfaction in this world than exercising ur bottled up crpg admin powers on someone who outplays ur cav build on NA1 daily. as for leniency, james banned me for 2 hours on CHRISTMAS DAY for brocoding albus just because he was suffering from a situational temper after being killed. ur guys' line is a little close 2 the starting mark for me!! and how dare u tell me to go eat or read a book or take a walk. HOW DARE YOU. do u not think i just finished a semester of rigorous college academia and athletics??? do u not think i eat 4200 calories a day and work out for 2 hours every day and enjoy my full head of beautiful wavy auburn hair?

when i get unbanned dont think 4 one second that i wont seek revenge to kill u all with underpowered swashbuckler build and spew INFINITE amounts of vitriol for this.

unban assington who is not a child, but in fact more mature, better looking, taller, funnier, better at melee, a compliment to this mod, and having of a far more HUNG peener than anyone who has spoken against him

I don't claim innocence for my crimes of double spawning, but I can't sleep anymore, I can't enjoy the same activities, songs, and hobbies that I did just 12 hours ago. Not because of the punishment for my crimes, but because of the betrayal of another.

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i have invited this little boy into my teamspeak to talk and laugh with me for years now and as of late this little mans visits to my channel have been more frequent and fraught with more laughter and giggles and fun. this little boy was a person i called FRIEND. i dont give that title out easily!!

I hopped on NA1 yesterday just after noon with sugarbiggums, thats right, just us two. I begin to post announcements on the cRPG steam page to get the server populated, like I always do because I am a compliment to this mod. People begin to show up slowly but surely. Among them, my good friend thryn, whom over the course of the last two weeks had become someone I called a pretty autistic and good friend. Thryn, along with other people were playing very unsavory classes, unhealthy for populating the server (meme horsebump cav, horse throwers, horse xbows, throwers). Maybe 5 out of 12 of the players online were melee classes. so I say in chat "hey guys playing those classes aren't good for getting people on the server" and in response my former friend thryn says "neither is having klaus on the server xddddd"

wowzers. i thought this guy was my friend.

a couple hours later im still burnin the midday crpg fuel trying to continue posting announcements, getting people on. A lot of people, thryn included are still playing unsavory class types for the relative server population. Im running out of spawn, typing in chat (not shittalk i dont do that anymore) and WHAM!!!! couch lance to the side of my face does 3/4 hp. I hadn't even had a chance to hit an enemy player or retaliate against the cav player who struck me. it was thryn!!!!

I'm thinking, "hey now, I try to keep the double spawn under control lately, im becoming a respectable player despite the vitriol that many spit at my name, so I really shouldn't double spawn. ut the DEDICATED, NON MEME CLASS PLAYER WHO STRIVES TO PURELY PLAY MELEE AS TO NOT APPEAR TO BE A HYPOCRITE (unlike thryn who plays cav and xbow to prove theyre OP but cant even get off the bottom half of the scoreboard) HAD to double spawn to actually have fun that round. Losing almost all of your hp before even getting a chance at a fight IS NOT FUN. so i double spawned, and thryn says "shits no cool bro" "im gonna ban thread you". like really? shits not cool? me double spawning without even doing a nudge worth of damage to the enemy team isn't cool, but playing three maps in a row doing nothing but horsebumping people off of a destrier is what respectable item balancers should do? What thryn and the other unsavory class players were doing in those 3 1/2 hours was far more detrimental to the health of this mod than ALL of the double spawning I HAVE EVER DONE.

yea double spawning is gay and i hate getting killed by someone and then seeing them double spawn after they die while i still sit in spectator, but I don't do that. I don't go RUSH into combat, kill people, get killed, double spawn, repeat. i double spawn when the cause of my death is so so so terrible that there is simply no other choice.

but alas i have been betrayed. banned for 3 days as a result of the betrayal of the person i called friend who is clearly not a friend anymore and apparently, based off of their actions, never was. i dont care about the ban time, i care about all of the snakes that have turned me into the HIEDEOUS BEAST i am today. every1 knows sparvico and i fucknng HATE each other, but did u know there was a time not too long ago when i talked 2 him and westwood in teamspeak like they were my own sisters? and then BAM!!!!! one day sparvico just bans me for some petty crime as if i was not his teamspeak3 battle buddy.

james. i thought james and i were good friends about a week ago, working together 2 populate the server at night by posting unyielding amounts of announcements on the crpg page, but one day, one fateful day i was brocoding albus in NA1 because im not a cuck dude i dont kill my friends the SECOND i see them even if they are on the other team. and then james and i are the last ones left on our team against albus and some archer on the other team. james is all like "asssington!!!! fight albus u fucking leecher!!!! u know i cant handle him in melee since he can left block!!!!!!!!" and then im like "YESSIR!!!!!!" and i charge in (too late to save james) but i charge in and fight albus only to be banned for 2 hours.

when u get betrayed by as many snakes as i have in this mod. u stop behaving like a person..... u turn into a hideous animal.... and every1 sees u as a hideous animal despite you being taller, better looking, funnier, more talented at melee (tops scoreboard as swashbuckler xddd) and a having a HUNG peener.

from now on out, call me assington the reptile RAVAGER the serpent SLAYER

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General Discussion / can we try to populate NA1 a couple times a week?
« on: November 30, 2017, 03:15:04 AM »
so james has been hosting a couple weekend strat battles that I haven't attended so i don't know how populated they get, but ive noticed that he hasnt been sending messages out during the week evenings about populating NA1 in a couple weeks. i keep messaging him on steam about making announcements on the steam page or giving page admin to someone willing to attempt to send announcements and message people, but he either dismisses it or just ignores me

i dont have alot of crpg players on steam so i cant send messages to everyone asking if they wanna hop on NA1 and get some 5v5s going or something so i was wondering if anyone out there that has lots of crpg players on steam or has admin of the steam page is willing to set up maybe two or three nights a week where they message players about gettings NA1 going?

add me on steam if you want to try and get NA1 populated more often

dont move this thread or anything everyone knows general discussion is the snapchat or instagram equivalent of popular browsing means on this website

its been long known that crpg has birthed the finest overall warriors in the internet. the capabilities of our peoples weakest warriosr rival that abilities of the best from other lands and bloodlines. those native would be goods come in crpg flaunting about how bad crpg is because they cant exploit they broken greatsword rightswing to upstab feint animation and then they get punished by our superior breed and leave to spread bad word of our people.

as someone who holds great fame and prestige in the community here, i acknowledge i am widely equally respected and feared, i believe it is my duty to call upon the best of the best of our peoples warriors to form a vanguard into the new world of calradia that will be opening soon since bannerlords gameplay is looking more and more polished with each gaming conference event. perhaps a release around the end of this year or early next year is looking very likely.

as the taleworld devs keep mentioning, bannerlord is going to have a matchmaking system to put players into games with players of "similar skill". how they will determine this i have no idea (blocks/hits layed down per game? idfk).

anyways if you think youre good enough to make to make the cut and wanna add me on steam, myself and some of our fellow crpg compatriots have already begun to discuss our plans for going pro in bannerlord to make upwards of $800k+ per person during the payperview bannerrlord fights that are definitely going to happen

add me on steam

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